Stubbornness
“For people who hate discipline and only get more stubborn, there'll come a day when life tumbles in and they break, but by then it'll be too late to help them.”---Proverbs 29:1 (Message)
“A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country.”---Edgar Watson Howe
“Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you're going to be thinking tomorrow.”---Glen Beaman
Who woulda thunk it? That the next word on the life agenda for me would be stubbornness? Yeah, I bet you are already thinking of (at least) three people that you could/should forward this message on to, but it has a twist. Trust me.
A wise man once said that if you want to know how hard it is to change someone, you should start with trying to change yourself. (Matthew 7:3-5) I conquer. I used to wonder why a lot of people were fat until I tried losing ten pounds. I used to wonder why a lot of people were sexually reckless until I tried abstinence. I used to wonder why a lot of people let others run their lives until I started taking a stand on some things that weren't so popular to the masses. (The Message Version of Luke 6:26 got me pretty straight on that one, though!) It's so easy to judge (Matthew 7:2) when you are not experiencing the situation for yourself, no doubt.
But sometimes you will witness something so crazy that you couldn't relate to it even if you wanted to. It doesn't require a psychology degree. Just a little common sense, and you can't figure out for the life of you why the people involved don't get it.
Where am I going with this? Sit tight.
You know, it's amazing the things we will put on God that totally contradict what the Word says about his nature. One of them is that we should do things in faith, even if they lack in common sense; even though the Word says that God is a well full of the very thing we often ignore:
“God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding. He's a rich mine of Common Sense for those who live well, a personal bodyguard to the candid and sincere. He keeps his eye on all who live honestly, and pays special attention to his loyally committed ones.”---Proverbs 2:6-8 (Message)
Throughout this year, I have been giving people in my space dream journals. There is a particular one that has a message on its cover that I just love: “Where truth and desire meet, dreams are born.” I truly believe (John 8:32) that it takes both truth and desire to receive the things that God has for us. You can want something all day long, but if you're wanting God's blessing on it, you have make sure that it lines up with truth; not yours, or even man's (no matter who the man may be), but his. (Psalm 33:4) I think one truth that a lot of us were not properly taught is that faith and common sense go hand-in-hand. Maybe we miss that because a lot of us don't know what common sense really is (especially as it relates to the Word):
Common Sense: sound practical judgment that is independent of specialized knowledge, training, or the like; normal native intelligence.
It's close to hilarious the fact that those two words are even placed together because I personally agree with Voltaire when he says that among many of us, “Common sense is not so common”. When you look at the definition above, there are three words that I want to focus on as it relates to this message: sound, practical and judgment.
It freed me up several weeks ago when I realized that when God said that he gave me not the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7), one of the definitions of “sound” is “to investigate”. When you investigate something, you “examine, study, or inquire into systematically; search or examine into the particulars of; examine in detail”. Do you know how many times I have done something calling it “faith” when I didn't take the time to investigate it, first? Something that God said he gave me the power to do?
The second word is “practical”. I John 2:15-17 (Message) says this:
“Don't love the world's ways. Don't love the world's goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.”
One definition of practical that I love is, “mindful of the results, usefulness, advantages or disadvantages, etc., of action or procedure”. Do you know how many times I have claimed something “in faith” without asking God to reveal to me the results, the usefulness, the advantages/disadvantages of it? See, the thing about the way “the world” operates is that it sees things from a non-spiritual point of view. The Bible tells us that Holy Spirit teaches comparing spiritual things with spiritual (I Corinthians 2:13). A surefire way to test if what you want is in agreement with what God wants for you is if it lines up with spiritual principles. (Spiritually beneficial things will always prove to be useful and advantageous.)
And the final word is judgment. John 7:24 instructs us not to judge according to appearance, but with righteous judgment. Do you know how many times I have played with or stayed in straight up foolishness whether it be a relationship, a habit, a job or even an ideology all because of how it looked to me or how I thought it looked to others? I think perhaps one of the most comical things we can say to God is, “Well, the way I see it...” The way we see it is often flawed, limited and selfish because the flesh tends to be all of those things. (Galatians 6:8, I John 2:16)
Oh Lord, how I repent for all of the times that I have said, “I stand in faith believing you for something even though it lacks sound, practical judgment.” Even though it lacks all common sense!
When it comes to the definition of faith, the New Century Version has a great translation of Hebrews 11:1: “Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing that something is real even if we do not see it.” One verse that I really appreciate in this season of my life as it relates to “hope” is I John 3:2-3 (NKJV):
“Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”
Sometimes I think, even when it comes to hoping, that we don't use common sense; especially the godly kind, the kind that purifies us and makes us like God. The Bible says that faith is being sure of the things that we hope for, right? Well, while hope does mean to desire or to want, it also means “to trust”, “to look forward with confidence” and to have “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best”. Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith, it is impossible to please God. Yeah, it's easy to believe that we are pleasing God when it comes to believing him for what we want. Oh, but what about the times when we are expected to believe God that the events will turn out for the best...even at the expense of what we want? Do you realize that when you refuse to do that, you are not pleasing God?
Yeah, it's hard to receive that side of faith, isn't it? And, that's where the word, “stubborn” comes in.
A couple of days ago, I read a really good article on Orato.com. It was called, “My Last Day As A Junkie”. In it, there was a line that has stayed with me on a pretty consistent basis: “I'm really, really trying, but that's the problem with junk; it's not a 'habit,' it's religion. I worship it.”
I wonder how many of us worship the religion of stubbornness. After all, all religion basically is, is something that you believe in or devoutly follow. Do you remember a few devotionals back, I shared a portion of a sermon that a friend of mine (Brian Watts) preached? It was about the five students of life (traditional, fair-weather, apathetic, legalistic, questioning). One of the things I loved that he said about his traditional math students is that whenever they were not open to other options, to trying things another way, to being flexible (check out the Message Version of Matthew 12:6-7, in context!), whenever they would say, “That is how I've always done it”, his response was, “And always doing it that way is what got you here...in the trouble you are in!”
Some of us are spiritually-stagnate at this very moment and it's all because we are stuck in the traditional way of thinking about things: money, provision, purpose, marriage, commitment, sex, communication, child-rearing, success, conflict, reconciliation, dating/courtship, friendship, helping, ministry, service, witnessing, health, answered prayers, unanswered prayers, timing, faith, peace, hope...oh, I could go on and on...and on and on. Our parents, our teachers, our family, our friends, our churches have told us things and we have accepted them at face value without stepping out on the sound, practical and judging power that God personally gave us; the wisdom that the Word says God gives to all of his children without fault-finding or criticism (James 1:5). The thing about spiritual wisdom is that while some of it corporately applies (like the Ten Commandments, for instance---Exodus 20), a lot of it is individual/couple/family-specific. Just look at what the word, “wisdom” means:
Wisdom: knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight. common sense; good judgment; a wise outlook, plan, or course of action.
The knowledge God gives me about my life may not be the exact same that he gives for yours. How he wants me to discern a situation may not be identical to the insight he gives you. (Did he tell Ruth to do the same thing to get her husband as he told Esther? Of course not!) A lot of us are so set in our ways, so traditional, so corporate-minded, so stubborn, that God can't move in the way that he would like because we have already decided, or we have let someone decide for us, how/when/where that should be.
I'm believing God for a Jag and that's that. So what if a Jag is not best-suited for my financial state?
I'm believing God for a specific man. So what if that man is crazy?
I'm believing God a raise/promotion. So what if that raise will make me so proud that I won't see the need for him anymore?
I have faith and that's all that matters. Is it? See in life, especially when it comes to what we want, we often see the first sentence, but God sees both. Ever heard the phrase “stuck on stupid”? Just because you are resolved on something, that doesn't automatically make it good, right, or best. A stubborn mentality is not a saintly one just because you call it that. I don't know about you, but I can't even remember hearing a sermon with biblical scriptures on a stubborn mentality, oh, but it exists:
“So I gave them up to their own hearts' lust and let them go after their own stubborn will, that they might follow their own counsels.”---Proverbs 81:12 (AMP)
“Yet they did not obey or incline their ear [to Me], but everyone walked in the stubbornness of his own evil heart. Therefore I brought upon them all [the calamities threatened in] the words of this covenant or solemn pledge, which I had commanded, but they did not do.”---Jeremiah 11:8 (AMP)
“He said to them, Because of the hardness (stubbornness and perversity) of your hearts Moses permitted you to dismiss and repudiate and divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been so [ordained].”---Matthew 19:8 (AMP)
“You stubborn and stiff-necked people, still heathen and uncircumcised in heart and ears, you are always actively resisting the Holy Spirit. As your forefathers [were], so you [are and so you do]!”---Acts 7:51 (AMP)
“So then He has mercy on whomever He wills (chooses) and He hardens (makes stubborn and unyielding the heart of) whomever He wills.”---Romans 9:18 (AMP)
Stubborn: unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving; fixed or set in purpose or opinion; resolute; difficult to manage or suppress; hard, tough, or stiff, as stone or wood; difficult to shape or work; difficult to treat or deal with; resistant to treatment or effort.
Synonyms of Stubborn: adamant, bullheaded, contemptuous, determined, fixed, grim, irreconcilable, ornery, pigheadedness, remorseless, unyielding.
Did you catch Proverbs 81:12? Because certain people had a stubborn, adamant, determined, fixed, irreconcilable, unyielding will, God let them follow their own counsel? How many of us, because we have decided how we believe something should go and have replaced God's will with ours, have ended up exchanging faith for flesh? How many of us have had pearls of wisdom (Matthew 7:6) laid before us and yet because we worship the religion of stubbornness, we have trampled on them like a herd of pigs (you did see one definition of “stubborn” is “pigheadedness”, right?) How many of us have volunteered to be a martyr for a cause that God never called us to? How many of us have been given a way of escape, but our pride prevents us from taking it? How many of us are self-victimized all because we have willed ourselves into a state of drama, confusion, abuse?
I am here to tell you that I am one of the many. Even as I am typing this, I am recalling situations that I am currently stubborn in. Areas where people have advised me wisely, but I have decided I want to do it my way. Circumstances where common sense is not saved or spent, but I have ignorantly or irreconcilably called it “faith” instead of what it really is: selfishness or fear. Times when I have said, “I am just gonna believe God” when really, I can't find any kind of biblical support for my stance or I have misread/not clearly defined what I have been (biblically) using/abusing to fit my cause/agenda.
Do you know why I believe the Holy Spirit led me to list the lead scripture that I did? Because it takes great discipline (Luke 14:33--AMP) to walk the fine line between godly faith and personal stubbornness; to surrender ALL, including what you think/feel/desire to God while being open to the fact that how you think it should go may not be the direction in which he leads you. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Now I see why Christ asked his disciples why they were so fearful, why they had such little faith in the midst of a storm. (Matthew 8:26) If it were really so easy as believing God for what we want until we get it, it wouldn't be so much of a struggle. Oh, but believing God for what's best, even if it results in not receiving what we want? That's something entirely different. We often quote Amos 3:3, “Can two walk together unless they be agreed?” but agreement with God means that we are leaving it up to him that even if it doesn't make initial sense to us, even if it goes against what we've been (poorly or inaccurately) taught, even if it bucks the system, even if it's just down right radical or even if it goes totally against what we would want, we are going to follow him anyway because he knows what's best.
As habitual, as religious as it may be, I have to admit that stubbornness hasn't really gotten me anywhere and I'm ready to move forward. I no longer want to be perceived by God or the wise counsel he places within my space as “unreasonable”, “unmoving”, “fixed in my opinion”, “difficult to manage, treat or deal with”. I don't want to be “resistant to treatment”, even if it's uncomfortable or goes against tradition. I don't want to be so set in my ways that I confuse faith in God with faith in my flesh (and the mini-gods that it serves—Exodus 20:3). I've created enough chaos in my life because of my hardness of heart (Proverbs 28:14) I want to be controllable, gentle, manageable, obedient, pliable, tractable, workable---with my God, myself and those around me. After all:
“Who in the world do you think you are to second-guess God? Do you for one moment suppose any of us knows enough to call God into question? Clay doesn't talk back to the fingers that mold it, saying, "Why did you shape me like this?" Isn't it obvious that a potter has a perfect right to shape one lump of clay into a vase for holding flowers and another into a pot for cooking beans? If God needs one style of pottery especially designed to show his angry displeasure and another style carefully crafted to show his glorious goodness, isn't that all right?”---Romans 9:20:24 (Message)
He's the potter, I'm just the clay. No point in getting “set” until he's done with his design. On his time, not mine. (Acts 1:7---Message)
©Shellie R. Warren/2008
